Caught Red Handed and Rosey Palmed -- A Four Day Update Blow Out

It's hard to put into words the embarrassment stemming from someone catching you whackin-off in a bunk.  I remember when I was younger Metal Mom opened the door to my room, which did not lock at the time, and saw a full-frontal wank session. Jorma, drummer in the Bronx, opened the curtain closing off my bunk to the bus. What he saw was bigger than average, and well I don't need to get any further into it. If you see Jorma at Warped Tour please tell him he should think before opening a closed bunk curtain.

Other than the embarrassing moment, which is probably known by all their close friends on the tour (Norma Jean, Every Time I Die, Against Me), things have been great.

My shitting situation has not improved. I'm constipated and bloated with a chain of dirty eats still inside my body. The last time I took a poo was on one of the days off prior, so a minimum of two days. In your prayers please include me. I feel as if I'm a shit tank.

The nasty cut on my foot has healed. It didn't heal well, but I'm sure the dirt and shit in the cut will grow out of me or something. That's what Metal Mom says.

DAYS OFF->
After Ventura, we had two days off--one in San Diego and the other in Phoenix. The San Diego day consisted of a few things: Putt-putt golf (where I won 20 dollars I'm the man at Putt-putt), Margaritas, Wii, and watching the Chariot DVD from 2005. My crew and I didn't go to the bowling thing. This I regret. Whatever: there will be tons of cool parties to come.

Before the days off I worked it out that Chad and I ride a different bus than the one we are on. The Bronx were spending days in Vegas and I wanted to hang with everyone on tour as well as friends in the Phoenix area. The day off in Phoenix was unreal. The resort we were at had a lazy river, pools, and a lazy-river side bar! Totally awesome. My friend Irene came out to hang, which was cool. She is one of the guys and then some. Actually, I hope we get married. 

PHOENIX SHOW DAY->
If you've ever seen Pee Wee's Play House you know about his word of the day. Chad and I do something similar. If you say the word "hot" we go, "AHHHHHHH THAT'S THE SECRET WORD."  We do this because, honestly, it's always fucking HOT! On this date it's important to not do too much, and to drink a lot of fluids because you can die and stuff. I thought the heat was not as bad as last year though some argued against it. A highlight from this day was watching Travie from GCH come on stage during ETID and screaming a bunch.

LAS CRUCES->
I just moved to New Mexico so the main thing on my mind was making friends who live in Albuquerque because I have none. It was easy to talk to people cause everyone there, minus those who don't speak English, were very nice. Today was also the day that The Bronx debuted their Mariachi band at the myspace tent. Check my videos it's life altering. After the show there was a party. and Kevin Lynman was so wasted while working the BBQ. I hung out, and drank out of the Bus 12 fish bowl. I met a group of people that night who go to the college in Las Cruses. They seemed nice and they were girls. I gave them my number. Hopefully, they will be my friends when I return.

Oh! I met this guy. He runs a non-profit called World FM, which is a record label that fuels charity, which helps other countries do something. I'll explain it more in detail later. The structure of it was intriguing. Well, the dude who is on the road who runs it knows DAVE GAHAN the singer of DEPECHE MODE, which is my favorite band. And he said DAVE was going to be out at the NYC show. I'm going to meet and take pics with him. I'm so excited.

Our day off is in Bum Fuck Farmington, New Mexcio. HUGZ